He grinned at her. “Yeah, thanks, it’s part of the job you know, being kind of..flexible.” He wiggled a brow at his last word.
He huffed. “Yeah, kind of my fault, her Change…” He frowned and somehow it hit him to late how much influence he had on Cas. He crossed his arms around the headrest from the seat and looked to the ceiling for a moment. He tried to memorize the talk he had with the angel and how his feelings were. There was deep Friendship and somehow congeniality. But he never felt something else then this Bond. He knew that he always saw Cas as a man. Not that he never saw him as the heavenly creature he was, with no Gender, no sense of Humor and the inhuman strength . Sometimes he saw what he was behind Jimmy’s eyes and sure there were this feeling of awe and something that let him shiver when he got to close. Maybe that was what caused to tell this No-personal-space-rule. But the shiver he get now was completely different. He narrowed his eyes when he looked back to Anna. “She has no Clue?” It made sense to Dean. Cas was not used to Humanity. He swallowed. “Did you.. I don’t know..uh tell her that? I mean, I’m not the number One teacher if it comes to emotions.” He would never have “The Talk” or something with cas. This felt awkward enough in his Mind.
Anna laughed heartily at his comment and wiggling eyebrow. The first real laughter of her’s since she had come back. Somehow it was really relieving.
“Oh comeon, Dean”, she hook her head. “Leave some faults for others, will you? Cas let it happen that you changed her. That’s not on your account.”
The rogue angel watched Dean Winchester brood, which was an intriguing thing. She could absolutely understand why Cas could watch the hunter for hours.
“You called her baby-in-a-trenchcoat”, she shrugged. “And now you doubt your own reference?” Anna smirked but rose her brows at his questions, lifting her hands in defence. “Oh that’s not my thing to do. I’ve told her before that she has to think for herself, I’m not going to break my own word. It’s her life - so to say. She’ll figure it out herself. And you don’t have to tell her anything as well. Leave the decision to her and the learning. I guess that’s what father intended anyway. And if you’re so eager to know if I’m right there’s a thing we could try out.” Now it was Anna who wiggled both her brows.
Now Anna made it clear how much she knew about him and Jo. Even if she told him that he don’t have to feel awkward or guilty, it was still a weird feeling. “Well..I’m glad that she’s back but suddenly there’s a new Family Member…I mean she was always family but…” Dean broke the sentence and clenched his Jaw. He remembered Jo’s Death. Maybe he’ll fail again in protecting her but Anna said she’ll help, so Jo could be safe. He frowned when the Angel compared him with Micheal. “Don’t get me wrong here but yeah you’re not a feathery Dick but don’t compare me with this whiny little brat, I’m nothing like him..okay? I don’t know how he was in the past, I just know his present Character and he sucks.” He kept his Voice calm cause he wasn’t really angry. Anna could see through him like Cas always did and maybe she was right but he wouldn’t admit it. He licked his Lips and shrugged his Shoulders. “Uh…let’s just say, i’m glad that you chose a female Vessel but I think we’re over this.” He swallowed, knowing exactly why he avoided to get it on again with the red haired Angel but this was still deep buried inside him. He drove into the Parking lot of the Motel and turned the engine off. He glanced over to the Windows of their Room and wondered if Cas was inside. He knew he had to talk to her about what he just heard. He dropped his Hands and leaned against the Backrest. “Quick Question.” He said and turned his Head into Anna’s direction. “Did..Cas tell you that she..well you know… or is this really just your assumption?” When he dared to get this Awkward talk with Cas, he needed to know that. Maybe it just seems like Castiel felt this way. It’s not the first time an angel told him that, even if it was just a joke. Maybe it’s just Cas’s Behavior that everyone thinks that they have a thing or something. Again, he secretly hoped that this wasn’t true. He couldn’t control his facial expression while he was deep in thoughts again.
“Yes, I can tell that it’s weird”, Anna nodded and looked back out of the front window. “But you’ll get used to it. All of it. After all you’Re pretty adaptable.”
The rogue angel rolled her eyes at Dean’s emotional outbreak.
“Easy, Dean. I didn’t compare you to him, at least not the him he’s now. Angels can change too, you know. You experienced it yourself. Cas changed being at your side and … I changed”, she tried to explain and relaxed as he finally decided to park the car.
“Sure”, she nodded and listened to his question. “Well… she didn’t tell be because oviously she has not a clue about it. But it isn’t an asumption either. I simply know it.” Anna shrugged. “You know. Castiel has been my subordinate for thousands of years. I know her and apart from that: I’m still an angel and can … sense things.”
“Jo? You have no Idea…she slammed so much into my face but the worst information was that she’s my little sister..I mean what the hell??” He rose his brows and made a slight jerk with his head. Dean had no clue how much Anna knew about their past but wouldn’t ask either. He watched Anna out of the corner of his eye. “Nevermind, it’s good to know that we’ve a wingman.. sorry wingwoman.. on our side.” He winked. Back to the uncomfortable subject again his face got stern anew. “Why? Why would she choose me?” He gritted his teeth about the fact that he actually asked that. He sighed and tapped one hand on the wheel. “I’m not even over the Fact that she’s a girl now..” he added low and bit his lower lip. Was that really the Problem? Or the fact that he didn’t deserved the love of an angel? Or that he’s afraid to break her or even lose her again? Like everyone else he loves? What if their friendship couldn’t stand it if they crossed the line? His Mind puzzled he looked straight out of the windscreen. Anna’s little joke brought him back. “Oh, don’t you dare… This would be a shame, you should know this.” Oh, bad. Dean swallowed. Sometimes he hated his mouth. He covered his humiliation with a faked smirk.
“Well that was big news to her as well”, Anna nodded. “You both shouldn’t feel guilty or awkward about that. The only thing I’d be concerned about is that this means she’s just another candidate for Michael, should he ever return. Luckily for her he somehow prefers male vessels.”
“You know I don’t care about gender specific choice of words even though I appreciate that you don’t see me as another feathered dick”, Anna smirked again.
“You really want me to answer that question, Dean?” she rose both her brows. “I mean, really? You might think of yourself as a failure and a curse. You should know that all heroes felt like this. You are righteous, loyal, self-sacrificing and make your own opinions about everyone and everything, even though you like to talk as if you lump together everyone and you follow your causes. Ironically you’re just like Michael was in his early days. And if it wasn’t for Cas, I’d never say ‘no’ to you.” catching up his final phrase with a smirk. “Well I might be selfish there. After all I’m feathers with no string.”
Dean couldn’t concentrate on the road and looked at Anna, hoping that this was really just a joke but still, a spark of him wanted it to be true. His confusion about his own feelings and the fact that he talked about Cas feelings for him with his former on-night-stand was not amusing. He clenched the Fingers around the wheel until he felt pain. It helped. “Another protector, Well.. thanks I guess.” He mumbled frowning. As if they needed a babysitter. “Don’t take to much effort into keeping our Asses secure.” He added and drifted around another corner. He huffed a laugh. “Yeah, great favor, making an Angel hot for a poor example of a Human, really kind of Gabe’s Humor, I’m sure the Lord is a Party animal, hm?” He hit the break slightly, lessening the Pace at her reaction about his driving style. He shrugged his shoulders. “You would survive! And you’re my Guardian angel now, so whatever.” He managed a smile and looked at her, hoping that she realized that he was just kidding.
Anna watched the dance of emotions and thoughts on his face. This was beyond funny when it came to father’s humor. Telling her to make sure that Cas and Dean would be alright in every kind of fashion. Her the one who actually could explain Castiel everything important she needed to know concerning being with Dean Winchester.
“I am not simply a protector, Dean, nor a babysitter or anything of that kind”, she gave back at him. “I don’t know what Jo told you about what’s her purpose here. I just know that I’m the only one who can fight off the big problems for you. And I accepted it because I wanted to. I’m here as a friend. Believe me or not.”
“You don’t get it, do you?” Anna sighed. “Father didn’t create Castiel ten thousand years ago so that she would fall in love with you. It was her choice, her first real choice. And she doesn’t even know it. Father did her a favor, not you. And putting together a human body isn’t that easy to a normal angel like you might think. I might … uhm … forget something.” She smirked roguishly.
Dean couldn’t hide a slight grin when Anna had trouble to get the reference of her wings. He pursed his Lips when she talked about heaven. “Yeah, well..I just know what my Heaven would look like, sorry.” he simply forgot that Angels are just employees. At her Next Words he almost chocked on his own spit and coughed. “W..What?” he blinked into her direction and back to the street, struggling to focus for am moment. “That’s Bullshit, why would she….” He couldn’t even speak it out. Still, everything would make sense if this was true. But he dared not to think about it. He ticklish feeling grew inside his stomach and he smiled even if he aimed to look stern. he could feel the heat in his face stronger then before and clenched his Jaw. He shook his had with a low laughter. “And you’re her chaperon? or what?” He sounded mean but that wasn’t his intention. Dean drove around the corner, faster then he wanted to. “To make it…easier for me?” He blinked in confusion and in disbelieve. “Is that a Joke? God is fucking with me..isn’t he?” he licked his Lips nervously. Even though, the Thought wasn’t that bad, He had to admit to himself that he really liked Cas. But he couldn’t talk about it. It felt wrong and awkward and if it was true then he knew that he was not good for her. He would ruin Cas and she simply deserved better.
If it hadn’t been a personal issue to Anna, she would have smirked, yet she simply couldn’t. Of course she hadn’t really been in love with him when she had her last night on Earth - it had only been a crush. Otherwise she would never had been able to plan on killing his mother. But now Dean was one of the few things she didn’t regret.
“You did get me wrong here. I’m here to help Cas, not to stop her and I’m here to protect the three… well four of you”, Anna corrected and furrowed one brow at his driving style.
“Like I said. Gabriel inherited fathers humor perfectly. I guess he thinks, he’s doing you a favor or something”, Anna shrugged. She could have added a bitter comment like that he seemed to have a thing for angels, but she didn’t. “On the other hand, Cas is almost defenseless now. I don’t really understand why father decided all of this.”
She sighed and instinctively grabbed the doorknob. “I don’t know, dean, but are you trying to kill yourself?”
He gave a little nod. “Yeah. Left home when I was a kid,” he said with a sigh. He didn’t think he was a kid at the time. He thought he was an adult, grown up and free to do as he pleased. He was wrong. Snippets of his first hunt flashed in his mind. A small smile formed on his lips. To him the memory was funny. He almost got himself killed, and another hunter had to save his ass.
He laughed at the memory within his mind because he felt a mixture of envy and longing to be as he once was. A part of him wasn’t all that opposed to being that cut out picture of a son his parents wanted. He, however, knew that no matter what he wanted, his nature wouldn’t allow him to return to his previous state of mind.
Anna tilted her head. She would have knows his whole story by now if she still had been connected to the host, but now she had to go through this much slower way of gathering information. Still this was a story some Hunters had to tell, even though every single one was still unique.
“And why?” she asked, tilting her head. “Because you felt like it was your purpose? Or did something happen that you thought there weren’t enough people living to see the ugly truth of the world so much clearer?”
Dean huffed and kept his look on the street. He felt kind of uncomfortable to talk to Anna considering their Past. “So, your Wings are all white again huh?” He was not sure how to take Anna’s return but she seemed to be honest. He blinked and gave her a slight glance “Wait! Cas forwent Heaven to get back down here?” He rose a Brow. “She told me she came back to protect my sorry Ass again and had no Idea from whom or what.” Dean’s Mind worked. Maybe all she wanted was to be with him? No, That’s Bullshit. He was never better then heavenly Piece. He clenched his Jaw, thinking about what cas had told him before. “She’s..different” He suddenly said and was not sure how to continue. How much could he tell Anna? He memorized Castiel’s strange behavior but shook them away as he felt his Face heat when his thoughts got deeper. “I think she has trouble to deal with all her new Emotions.” He said low, staring at the street. Maybe that’s all? Maybe she was just confused and her weird new habit to touch and kiss him was just caused by her struggle to understand human feelings? Somehow this thought let his stomach clench. He frowned and drove in a faster pace.
“They never were…”, Anna started, looking at Dean again, realized and went with the reference. “No, still stained until I don’t know when.”
Puzzled at that question the rogue angel frowned. “Well I wouldn’t describe father’s tropical island as a heaven for angels”, she said after a moment. “But as far I can tell: yes. Everyone with feathers knows that Cas would do anything for you. Just in case you haven’t realised that.” Anna exhaled. “Well that was her original purpose. I think it’s just her sorry excuse for being in love with you.” There she said it. “But why isn’t really something that’s interesting me. Since Cas is now something like an angelic unicorn and you are the key to her, I am here to make sure that nothing bad happens.”
Anna furrowed one brow. “Of course she is.” Not really getting the point, until Dean continued. “You know…. I’ve been there. Emotionally angels are children, even though Cas has already learned a lot being with you guys.” She watched him ponder and noticed his strange behavior. Him driving faster wasn’t really fast to her. “I guess that’s why father figured he should give her a female body. To make it easier for you. Ironic, isn’t it?” Anna looked at her hands again. “So what’s so strange about it?”
“Jesus Christ!” Dean almost hit another Car and struggled to get the control of the Impala back. he hit the Break and finally managed to get the Car back on the right side of the Road. He made a weird Noise at the View of his Visitor. “Anna?” He clawed into the the wheel and took a deep breath. “Okay…first! How about a warning call? and Second.. Why don’t you all pop in together? I mean who the fuck is back too?” He blinked at her, not sure if she was on their side again. her Words made it clear. Dean dared not to think about which torture she got back then. “What did I miss? Cas is back as Human Chick, you’re back as an Angel and Jo just ran back into my Life as the Hurricane she always was.” He drove a bit slower and sorted his thought. “Why all this? What’s the purpose?” He was honest. There had to be a Reason. Even if he had trouble to trust this Angel next to him. She seemed to knew more then him.
“Sorry, i thought you’d be used to this by now”, Anna stayed cool, knowing that Dean would never loose control over his beloved car - unless someone crashed into him. “I’d say Castiel has told you everything we know. It’s us three. Cas, Jo and me”, she replied and was glad that Dean didn’t try to kill her in an instant. So she listened and tried to be helpful as much as possible.
“Well let’s just say Gabriel inherited father’s humour. He did send Castiel back just like she wanted but without any powers. and since he obviously didn’t trust me to be capable of protecting her and help her in human concerns he brought Jo back as well, which is in fact new to me.”
Anna sighed and looked at her hands again. she could understand Dean perfectly.
“Castiel and I were both there, in Gods personal Paradise, far away from all this crap”, Anna started. “But Cas wouldn’t give in, always trying to get back to Earth not understanding why her orders were archived, her purpose was fulfilled. She wanted to continue supporting you. So God simply wanted his peace and offered her to go back. Cas said yes without waiting for the hitch. And since father figured that I should have my chance to make amends he did send me after her, to aid her and give you all a protector from the other angels who might want to harm you, especially Castiel who isn’t angel but not really human as well. That’s all I know, that’s all I understand.”
He drove his baby across the street, not looking back. His Car was the only thing that kept him sane at he moment. Dean had no Clue what what’s going on with him. Cas was always on his side like the old days but it was hard to be next to her. Hard, because he felt so attracted to her that he forced himself to get distance between them. Even though, Dean missed her as soon as he wandered off, gaining some Air. He knew he had to talk about that but with whom? It was wrong and awkward. And Castiel’s new habit to kiss him, even if it’s just a peck on the forehead or something, it made it more difficult cause, he liked it. He rolled his eyes with a sigh and turned the radio on just to turn it off immediately after, as a Love song came out of the speakers. Dean was sure that his Cas-issue would distract him. Sure, he could focus but sooner or later it will be a Problem. He stretched his Neck, roaming his eyes around to find a place with some unhealthy fast-food to fill the aching hole in his stomach.
“Hello Dean”, Anna approached in the shotgun. She knew that she had to show herself to him sooner or later and she didn’t want to accidentally bump into him or - even worse - get called by Cass and forced to meet him without being prepared. “I think this will be the answer to the question who else has returned”, she added and looked down at her hands.
Since she wasn’t sure how dean would react to her, she simply went for the attack. “Father has restored me as an angel, but he has given me back my memories and emotions like they were … before I was … cleansed and tortured by my siblings.”